Dead People watching Steve McQueen

We all have our moment of a first kiss. It's always with someone our heart flutters into our throats and makes us gasp of the moment we remember them by. At least that's what I imagine when I think of a kiss...

It was during the winter two days after Christmas in 1963. I sat in a cold empty theater while the clock stroked passed 2:34 a.m and my master was feeding on the crowd at the 9:00 p.m. showing. Theaters normally don't open that late, but it was a party created by the owner himself to celebrate Steve McQueen. There were 40 people that sat in warm green cushioned seats who all had something similar to each other. Similar brown eyes, similar noses. I realized too late that these people were cousins, aunts, and uncles to the owner. Family. My master dined on an entire family as the movie Love with the Proper Stranger began to replay over and over. I watched the screen pretending I wasn't there. Eventually the movie helped me escape my surroundings by simply vanishing emotionally, as Steve McQueen coming up the stairs of an apartment building while the woman, Natalie Wood rushed all over the apartment trying to make her blouse not too scandalous by adding a pearl necklace around her neck. I almost felt alive. I almost felt that I could be her. (Except my hair has been the color of burnt yellow with hints of dirt and frizz since the 13th Century) That Steve McQueen would be knocking on my door with a nervous way of ringing the door bell and holding a small bouquet of roses.

Natalie opens the door smiling and the first thing Steve see's is her tits bulging out of her blouse as the pearl necklace dances across her endowment. She smiles like she had been cooking this entire time and not trying to look her best while he keeps telling her "Wow...you look like a woman." The whole scene is of him telling her how much she looks like a woman. I don't know why or remember the reason. But I grew jealous. I wanted to look like a woman. Instead I was stuck looking like a teenager for the rest of my life. I wanted a man to look at me that way and say, "Wow Sophia, you look like a woman." He would bring me tulips from Denmark and kiss me with whispered "I love you's"

While the screaming died down there were two other people still alive and paralyzed with fear in the theater. I kept trying to sink in my seat to hide my presence from his victims and realized I missed something from the scene of the movie. He's in the kitchen now and tells Natalie, "You're really something...I mean that...and I just wanted to tell you that." I smile to myself blushing like he had said that to me. Natalie casually brushes it aside like it's nothing, yet I would have melted to the floor in a pool of grins if he or anyone had said that to me. My mind wandered off in imagining that her kitchen was mine. That I had been wearing her black blouse and white pearl necklace. That I had been cooking and waiting for him to take me into his eyes as if I were a woman. A woman of beauty that Aphrodite would be pleased. After my mind wandered and the scent of blood and urine began to stench the theater. I tried imagining the scent of Steve McQueen. The scent of aftershave and french cologne I'm sure he never wore but couldn't help pretending. Then the moment I always love is the moment Steve McQueen sets himself on the coach and beckons Natalie forward into a kiss. It starts of sweet and gentle, then firmer letting me melt in imagining him kissing me. I could almost see it. I could feel his lips warm and inviting, smooth and firm like his hands wrapped around my waist and shoulders. Kissing me into his heart and telling me with his eyes that he would always love me...

The screams stopped as my master whiped urine off his shoes with a woman's pink blouse stained with blood. His hooked nose and long black hair gave me the signal that we were leaving. I followed and longed to see what happened next. Did he make love to Natalie? My master grabbed my hand and jerked me awake. "They are gone now, Sophia. We must leave." I looked at him lost, wondering where my Steve McQueen had gone. "Sophia, do not look around for you will not sleep a fortnight."

Instead of Steve McQueen and Natalie Wood I saw corpses sprawled across the floor and green cushioned chairs. Drained of happiness, of life...of blood. He drained them dry, all 40 of them. There was a woman with a beautiful white fur coat and long blond hair with Botticelli curls. She stared at me with dead eyes as if she were hurt that he took her future away. Her chance at a wedding, her chance with children. I stared at her for just a moment hearing the quote, "Wow...you look like a woman," she was worthwhile for Steve McQueen...

Vampires and Henry VIII

Vampires aren't shiny and as handsome as Edward Cullen. (The only handsome ones are the Vampire Royal Family and the vampires that held onto their wealth over the years, decades, and centuries and who give their servants beds!) They are pale, teeth that can bite through anything and fangs that directly aide their feeding habits (not retractable), with beautiful hair you wish your hair stylist could obtain for you. So here is a list of what they can do and what they can't:

Can Do:

• Suck your blood
• Manipulate your mind to their way of thinking *Glamour*
• Walk into a church during service
• Eat Holy objects
• Piss Garlic
• Drink Liquids *only if it's mixed with Blood*
• Have sexual intercourse with random people
• Servants can range from humans, to lycanthropes, and domestic/wild animals

Can't Do:

• Walk out into the sun *they can be awake during daylight hours as long as it's dark in the room*
• Enter your home without permission
• Be killed by humans. *only vampires can kill one another*
• Retract their fangs *it's placed right beside their k-nines so it looks like they have four fangs*

King Henry VIII

Lets see....he was obsessed with having a boy which he never had till Edward who's wife Jane had been executed. He screwed over the Catholic Church, Middle Ages, and Queen Catherine of Aragon who is the mother of Mary Queen of Scotland. Became a protestant so he could divorce Catherine and mingle with Anne Boleyn's ovaries in hopes of having a boy but instead produced Queen Elizabeth I (I secretly call her Saint Elizabeth behind my master's back) Discovered the entire family of Boleyn including cousins were conning him and executed most of them. And that's all I got before the 15th of October is to arrive....what joyness. My teacher will be pissed.

Who am I

I am Sophia Augustine, I'm just ordinary. Well to you I am. I attend school pretending to be younger than I really am while at the same time I've kept my friends in the dark of my real life. You see I've spent centuries as a vampire servant to a master who is worse than the sheriff of Nottingham! You wanna know what it was like through those centuries of cleaning his coffin, washing his clothes, burning his fires! I spent years praying the sun would find a crack in the wall and burn him alive through the basement of every building we ever slept in. My clothes smell like mold, my hair itches from lack of being able to bathe, I didn't know how to read or write till the 80's when Anne Rice released her book on an Interview with a Vampire and I ended up begging a street performer painted in gold if he could teach me. I wanted to know if there were other vampires out there who actually treated their servants with a shower and a soft bed! Turns out, most of them get a shower, a bed, an apartment, food of their own, and boyfriends! I want those! Including the boyfriends!

But no. I am a dutch girl pretending to be 16 and clacking her wooden shoes that there is no place like with half naked boys and books covering every inch of my four walled basement! I'm kidding I wish there really were half naked boys and books covering every inch of the basement down here under the Hotel from HELL! (the Perkins Hotel downtown; which has ten floors. The bottom two floors under the lobby are the service quarters and the basement full of wine bottles. The Hotel is notorious for serving vampires and you get a discount if you're a vampire. All the rooms were full so the manager said we could sleep in the basement, giving me a pillow and a sheet. Not a comforter, but a sheet ON A CEMENT FLOOR!)

Instead I get a milk crate with used books I've stolen from my master's victims (Interview with a Vampire by Anne Rice *first book I bought from a bookstore*, The Other Boleyn Girl by Philippa Gregory *stolen from a housewife victim in Albany, N.Y*, Harry Potter And the Goblet of Fire by J.K. Rowling *stolen from a ten year old victim I buried in the backyard*, Dance Macabre by Laurell K. Hamilton *stolen from a teenager who wore a lot of black* Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley *stolen from a women in her 30's who I admired and was a dear friend I lost to my master, her name was Jenny*) , a picture of a young Mickey Rourke in his early 30's advertising 9 1/2 weeks! (25 years of dirty dreams about that guy and that's the only movie I've ever seen him in...I wonder what he looks like now...?) And last but not least a stolen vhs tape of Titanic I never got to watch. (stole it from a single woman with a lot of cats and haven't been around a vhs player in years to the point they no longer are sold, so I'm stuck with a vhs tape taunting me to watch it with it's romantic pictures of a boat sinking and two lovers embracing each other. e_e)

So my friend, I'm hungry and I'm off to sneak food from the kitchens. Thank god my master went to sleep hours ago. I'll come back this afternoon to explain how vampires work and do my report on Henry VIII due the 15th of October!